Fear - Fuck Christmas
This was originally going to be a top ten list. It still kinda is, but is this song #10 or #1? You'll never really know for sure.
Tom Waits - Christmas Card From a Hooker in Minneapolis
At least someone had a good 2016.
Eazy-E - Merry Mutafuckin' Xmas
I couldn't decide between Run-DMC's Christmas in Hollis and Wall of Voodoo's Shouldn't Have Given Him a Gun For Christmas, but this is the best of both!
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians - HOORAY FOR SANTY CLAUS
Just like 2016, completely rotten but weirdly fun.
Tiny Tim - Santa Claus Has Got The Aids
Don't lie, if you log on to Twitter on Christmas morning and see #RIPSantaClaus, you will not be the least bit surprised.
The Waitresses - Christmas Wrapping
The songs can't ALL be cynical... I mean, what is Christmas without the hope that you'll get laid because you forgot the cranberry sauce and had to run to Publix at the last duckin minute before they closed.
The Damned - There Ain't No Sanity Clause
Ain't no sanity period... 2016 could sure use some Marx Brothers.
Oh, here's some -
Vince Guaraldi - A Charlie Brown Christmas Soundtrack
That's right, the whole goddamned thing. Go listen to it. LISTEN TO IT NOW
if you can't get even a little bit of enjoyment from this even after this fucking year then you might as well be...
Hanoi Rocks - Dead by Xmas
There's still a few hours to go before Xmas for you Western Hemisphere readers. Be careful out there...
Weird Al Yankovic - Christmas at Ground Zero
can't do nuthin' 'bout Donald Trump tho
AREN'T YOU GLAD THIS SONG IS RELEVANT AGAIN/?!??!?!!??!?!??!
OK I'm depressed now. time for the best Christmas song of all time
JINGLE BELL DOGS
For best results, listen 1000 times
opening it up in a dozen tabs at the same time is acceptable
Have fun and don't be a miserable bastard like me! IT'S CHRISTMAS FOR FUCK SAKE!!!